Beat of His Heart
by X-Zai
Summary: From San Cai's POV. Her reflection on what has happened to Lei and her. Please RR. (Lei x San Cai Rui x Kushi)


_Here is another one shot! It's about Lei and SanCai, from San Cai's POV. Please R/R! Thanks!

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_Beat of His Heart_

A single tear drop rolled down my cheek. Then, two followed the first. Then, three trailed after. Before I knew it tears were rolling down my face uncontrollably, like a waterfall as I placed a small bouquet of white lilies on the cold stone.

flashback

"San Cai," spoke Lei in his soft voice, nudging me gently out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I replied, turning away from the rooftop of Ying De.

"Are you willing," Lei paused before continuing, "to go to a dance with me?"

_Is Lei asking me out…on a date?_

Seeming to read my thoughts, Lei added quietly, "If I go by myself mother will make me dance with girls."

I smiled teasingly, "So I'm not a girl, huh?"

"You're not any girl. You're different from the others. You're special," he replied, all the while his eyes fixed on the view of the school below us.

end flashback

_Lei…I miss you…_

flashback

"Do I look alright?" I asked consciously, smoothing the wrinkles in my red dress.

No reply.

"That bad?" I sighed-if it weren't for Lei, I wouldn't have even thought about going.

He slowly shook his head, "No, no, you look great."

end flashback

_Lei was always so sweet.._

flashback

"Lei, dear," said Lei's mother sweetly, "Why don't you ask one of those lovely ladies to dance?"

"Sorry mother," answered Lei smoothly as he unexpectedly put his arm around my neck, "I was about to dance with this lovely lady."

"Alright, Lei dear. I'm going to go welcome our guests now," Lei's mother replied as she left.

"Shall we dance?" asked Lei quietly.

"Sure, just let me put down my purse first." I said, smiling.

I set my purse on a satin covered sofa clumsily, spilling all the contents of my purse. Simultaneously, Lei and I bend down to pick up the spilled objects.

"You still have this?" asked Lei, his lips curved slightly upward. My eyes shifted to the picture he held in his hand.

flashback

"I'm really tired," I had half-whined, "I need a vacation."

"Where to?" asked Lei.

"A beach."

"One second," said Lei as he asked a passing nurse for paper and a pen, "Go on, what are the waves like?"

Asking me each detail about the beach, Lei drew out my beach.

end flashback

"Yeah," I replied, smoothing the wrinkles in my treasured drawing. We soon finished putting away my purse, and Lei took my hand and led me to the dance floor.

flashback

"Don't touch me!" I screamed desperately, "Let go!"

"Let her go," Lei said quietly.

"HuaZeLei." stated a male student with messy black hair.

"I said, let her go." He repeated slowly and calmly, biting out each of the words.

"But Dao Ming Si told us to do thi-"

"Enough," Lei said, raising his voice slightly.

At this, they scrambled away quickly.

I got up on my feet, "Why did you save me?"

"No one came to save you," he answered, "I just don't like this kind of thing, that's all."

end flashback

_I guess I was lucky to have a vigil like Lei._

flashback

Sitting on a bench, I cry silently. Unexpectedly, Lei walks up in front of me and does a handstand against the wall.

"Whenever you want to cry, do a handstand, so the tears cannot come out. An old friend told me this," was the only explanation he gave.

end flashback

_My silent vigil._

flashback

"You better start running," he stated.

A loud, almost ear-splitting popping noise fills the air, and beautiful, colorful fireworks graced the dark sky.

"Are you crazy Hua Ze Lei?" I asked rhetorically, slightly surprised,"You could've killed me!"

Lei calmly replied, "Have you heard that when dawn is about to come, angels would pay respect to God, and if at this time, you set fireworks, you can call out to them? Then the wishes you have will come true easily?"

end flashback

_My guardian angel._

flashback

I frantically searched the waters looking desperately for the necklace Dao Ming Si gave me. As I reached deeper in the water looking for the necklace, tears streamed down my face.

Hearing light foot steps, I glance up, and see Lei walking towards me. Without even having to ask him, he pulls up his sleeves, and helps me search. A few minutes later, he finds the necklace and holds it towards me.

Though I wanted to thank him, I could not control the tears rolling down my face. Without a word, he pulls me towards his chest, allowing me to cry on him, yet again.

end flashback

_Was Lei really just a friend? Did I love him more than a friend?_

flashback

After seeing Ah Si and Xiao Zi together, I felt heartbroken, unsure of what I should do.

Lei softly said, "If you want to cry, then cry."

I force a weed-empowered smile on, "Who needs to cry? Why would I need to cry?" I paused, "Can you lend me your back?"

Lei nodded, as I leaned on his back in lament.

end flashback

_Why was he always here for me? De he love me?_

I gazed into his eyes, hoping to find the answer there. His marble eyes slowly softened, melting into mine.

For a few minutes more, we moved to the rhythm of the song, I rested my head against his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat flowing into my ears.

_No, I can't love Lei. My heart belongs to Dao Ming Si. He will remember everything. He will remember me. He will remember soon, it will all come back to him. My heart belongs to Dao Ming Si. I have to wait for him._

Muffled giggling was soon hears, pulling me back to reality. I glanced around me, and in surprise, noticed that everyone had stopped dancing and that the music was no longer playing. My face flushed a light shade of crimson, as I noticed that I hadn't been dancing to the song, but the beat of Lei's heart. I peered up at Lei, hoping he was not angry at me for embarrassing him. He smiled at me reassuringly, making my heart flutter unwillingly.

_What was I thinking? Lei could not be mad at me for a situation like this._

end flashback

_Lei, why did you have to be so unselfish?_

flashback

"San Cai," said Lei slowly, as we walked together to his car, "I have something to tell you."

"What?" I asked curiously.

"I," there was a long pause, "I, loved you ever since I met you. I, I know that you are Ah Si's but I just want to tell you…I will always wait for you."

Out of pure instinct I blurted out, "I love y-"

I never got to finish my confession of my love, for at that moment, a car sped towards me. I froze, not knowing what to do, the headlights blinding me.

This was the end; I thought to myself, I was going to die. To my surprise, in a few minutes the light had died down, and I had not been even scratched! Then, I looked down and to my horror saw Lei lying there, blood staining his clothing.

end flashback

_Is Lei gone forever? Did he really abandon me?_

I arranged the lilies on Lei's grave neatly, and after it was placed in as perfect of a position as I could manage, a feeling of strength came over me. I had to be strong. Lei did not sacrifice his life for me so that I could cry. I stood up, breathing in the fresh air as I looked at the environment around me in awe.

The reeds by the pond slowly swayed to the left, to the right. The branches on the trees unhurriedly moved to the left, to the right. The water in the pond swished bit by bit to the left, to the right.

Though Lei's body and spirit was no longer with me, he did not leave me alone.

Lei left the beat of his heart, to be with me, to protect me, to watch over me, to _love_ me.

Just like he had.


End file.
